I woke this morning thinking about “The Jeffersons”. For the youngsters, The Jeffersons was a 70’s television basically about a black business owner and his wife making it big in the dry-cleaning business and moving from the “ghetto” into a nice apartment on the Upper East Side of New York City. It was a great show, funny and smart at the same time.
So, what does that have to do with money?
Well, a good friend of mine, just like George and Wheezie, has moved up financially. His “deluxe apartment in the sky”, is a three-bedroom home in the suburbs. Yet, in some ways he is still holding on to his old poverty mindset. How? He believes he has to do everything, or almost everything, himself. Not only does he work a challenging job, and manage the day-to-day duties of a household, but he has also placed on his to-do list…
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- Building a garden bed
- Installing drywall in his bathroom
- Painting the above-mentioned bathroom
- Reattaching loose gutters
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I’ve stopped there, but his list goes on. For the record, my friend enjoys doing home improvement projects. However, the projects have become too much. Nonetheless he still felt as though he needed to do these things himself. Finally, I asked him…WHY? He said because they need to get done. My response was, “True, but why do YOU have to do them? Why not hire someone?” He began to balk about the cost, so I softened my tone and countered with, “These projects are stressing you PLUS not getting done because you don’t have the time, or energy, mind you, to do them all. Are you doing this because you are cheap or still have a poverty mindset?!” I don’t think he was expecting me to come at him like that.
Realize you have this mindset and where it come from
When you grow up without a lot of money, you learn to improvise. If something needs to get done, you have to do it yourself. There is little room in the family budget for a handyman, plumber or seamstress, so if it can be done by you, it gets done by you. HOWEVER, some of us, as we move up financially, hold on to that mindset of “not enough”.
Identify the areas it has a negative effect
Now let me say, if you enjoy doing things yourself and you want to do them, by all means, do it. However, this was not the case with my friend. He was becoming overwhelmed and needed help. In his mind, he still had to “make do” and do it himself. He didn’t realize (1) he still thought that way, and (2) why he still thought that way.
Decide to make the needed changes
Replacing your poverty mindset isn’t always easy. Especially if it has been developed during our formative years and grows with us mentally and financially. In some ways, it can be good by keeping us aware of our spending, encouraging us to save for the proverbial rainy day and reminding us of where we come from. Still, you can remember where you came from without remaining there physically, mentally and/or financially.
Ease into the change
I use the term “replacing” on purpose, because mindsets don’t just leave. We have to exchange them for a mentality better suited for our current financial situation. This is a process just like losing weight or saving for retirement. Start small, be intentional and stay consistent. Also, don’t be discouraged if you notice the mindset trying to creep back in. Make a note of what triggered the thoughts and learn to watch for them in the future so you can shut them down.
So back to my friend.
After realizing where this mindset was coming from, he started small. He reviewed his to-do list and picked out two minor projects he would love to tackle himself, plus had the time and energy to complete. The rest he is handing off to a professional handyman, who can do the job better and faster than he ever could. Doing these small things removed the stress and brought enjoyment back to his DIY-ing!
Well, we’re moving on up (moving on up)
To the East side (moving on up)
To a deluxe apartment in the skyyyyyyyy
Move…Moving on up (moving on up)
To the East side (moving on up)
We finally got a piece of the piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie…Yeah!Lyrics by Ja’net Dubois – RIH 2022
Thanks and Be Blessed
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